Physical activity is so important for children of all ages. 

When you are active with your children it helps develop their bodies, as well as, their minds. It does not only help to develop and strengthen muscles and skeletal development but also gross motor skills (like throwing, catching and kicking a ball) but also more delicate skills (like eye hand co-ordination.

Any kind of skills that your child’s learns and experiences success at will help build self-esteem. Feeling competent at anything you do is positive and motivates you to do more. Playing physical games and outdoor activities are healthy physically as well as emotionally. It is also just another way in which you can connect with you child and spend quality time together while creating memories that will last for a lifetime.

Active Movement and Physical Fitness help your child to:                

• Move and develop additional communication tools.
• Feel healthy and happy.
• Feel competent and loved
• Develop intellectually
• Develop socially

 Be an Active Role model

Parents and caregivers send messages about movement and learning when they are physically active with children. Being active and playing with children gives adults an opportunity to encourage children and give constant genuine positive reinforcement.

For the most part children aspire to be like their role models so are you sending great message by exercising and participating in sports. Children watch the things that we say and do.

Self-Esteem is Important

Exercise and movement get endorphins’ going which is very conducive to feeling happy. It is also a known fact that people sleep better when they have been outdoors, breathing fresh air and getting exercise. Try and think about how everyone feels after spending time on the beach or at the swimming pool. Children need to be active and they are less likely to get into trouble or engage in naughty behaviour when they are engaged. 

The following activities are just some simply ideas;

• Walk on the sand at the beach. This is great for balance, general fitness and strengthening ankles.
• Walk on the side walk and balance on the cracks or on the curb.
• Kick a ball around.
• Walk up hills in the park or mountains.

All of this contributes to your child’s self esteem. The more they repeat and get good at these things the better they will feel about themselves. The success that children feel as they learn to master a new skills all contribute to holistic health.

If your child is doing something that might be dangerous, express your concern and ask them if they have an idea as to how this activity can be done safely. This is the perfect opportunity to make some positive suggestions and help your child reach a positive conclusion. It is not enough to tell your child “well done” be more specific. Try saying something like “I really think that you did a great job kicking the ball all the way back to me.” This is genuine acknowledgement.

Focus on the improvement and the things that your child does well and do not stress or even point out what they are not doing well. Remember to mind your facial expressions and body language. Body language is very apparent to children and they know when you are truly enthusiastic. Thumbs up and a smile followed by a hug mean so much. You can share the experience and talk about how fun it was. Affection is so important to every child and their sense of well being.

The good news is that you have time to do it and everyone has periods of trial and error while raising a family. Children have challenges and some are easier to guide through life than others. Each child is unique so, one rule in many cases can not apply to all. Each child is motivated by different things. The best way to get on the right track is to be a positive role model. Your children are watching you. This should give you a feeling of empowerment not fear. They are not waiting to catch you making mistakes, everyone makes mistakes. What they will learn is the example that you set while resolving issues that you are faced with. This will help them learn to be accountable and responsible. Life presents every human being with challenges and being a positive problem solver will help your child be successful in whatever they may choose to do.

Teach Cooperation - Mary Poppins said it perfectly "a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down."

The best way to get your children to cooperate is to make it fun! You can make a cleanup a race against time by using the kitchen timer. You can let them add a bit of food coloring to the water to the tune of their favorite color when they wash the dishes. Point out that you all create a lot of laundry and count everything together as you fold it. These activities are actually teaching your children basic life skills.

Communicating on what you think about your child's behavior is a must.

You must shape your child's behavior, approval and disapproval is an effective way of doing this. It is so important to make sure that you are clear that it is the behavior being addressed and not the child. Instead of saying "your are a naughty boy. Why did you do that?" You could say " what you did was very naughty and you should not do it again because..." What you are doing is showing disapproval of a behavior and not assassinating the child's personally.

Build High Self Esteem.

You can make your children do things out of fear of punishment or pain, but they won't learn much more from that then how to be a bully. It will not encourage self discipline and high self esteem. A parent needs to be a positive role model and show self control, non violence and respect for their children's feelings. When children feel loved, respected and you set clear boundaries, in most cases, they will want to please you.

Making Mistakes.

Everyone makes mistakes. No one likes to lose face, so admitting that you have made a mistake can be difficult but essential for the learning process. Help your child save face by saying things like " that spilled because it was too heavy for you, next time ask for help."  If your child forgets to do something point it out to them and ask them to do it but add "never mind, we all forget to do things sometimes."

Don't make them feel stupid.
Don't harp on a mistake that they have made.
Point out when they get things right and do a good job.
Cuddle them often.
Tell that how very much you love them often.
Pay genuine compliments to them.
Do not tease them about their weaknesses or shortcomings.

My heart really goes out to all you Mums who feel that it is your fault if your child just doesn’t seem to “get” school
YOU are not a failure / a bad mum or useless!!!!
You have obviously tried all sorts of ways to help your wee boy and for whatever reason it isn't working.

Stop trying to teach your boy and instead just have fun playing and pottering about together. Keep reading to him and talk to him. Enjoy life together and find things he does well and notice and praise him.

When you get angry and frustrated when you are helping your child "learn" you make your child nervous and anxious and that creates problems in that they become scared to try. He is also probably very aware he is struggling and school and may be losing confidence in himself.

The RTLB ( Resource Teachers of Learning and Behaviour) are an amazing service and I am so glad they are coming in to work with you and the school to find out what is happening for your boy.
They will do some assessments and they may also get assessments done by people outside the school eg Educational Psychologists.

There are many reasons why your son may not be progressing and it’s important you find out what they are quickly and he gets the help he needs.
Work with the RTLB and his teacher to get to the bottom of this .

If you would like support from a parenting group let me know and I will supply you with some options and their contacts. There are many supportive groups out there.

Please don't feel like a bad mum. You sound like a great mum who has every right to be worried and fearful. Children with learning difficulties and special needs come from all kinds of families including ones full of love and learning - just like yours.

Take a big breath and love your son just the way he is, as you begin your search for how to support him learn and flourish.
Make sure you talk to other supportive parents about your fears and let them help you through this.

You are welcome to write again for any help you may need.
Take care

Julie

Julie Mulcahy -B Ed. Dip. Tch. NZ Registered. Experienced classroom teacher for students with learning or behaviour issues.  

www.springboardnz.com - When you're ready to make a change - and just don't know what to do.

p: +64 21 150 4215

It can be worrying if you have a little one who works well in routines and is a bit afraid of change.

`As a parent I can certainly empathise with your concern. However, most experts say that children usually toilet train themselves between the ages of two and a half and three and a half, so it sounds like you might have a bit of time up your sleeve in which to try a few new strategies.

You could begin with your local early developmental clinic (Plunket office or Barnados) or your Early Childhood teacher. They probably have some pamphlets which would be helpful. There are also lots of really great websites with free information. You could try www.3daypottytraining.com, www.lifefamilyeducation.com/toddler, www.tootntinkle.co.nz  Adventures in Toilet Training
.

Another great resource is the Forum part of kiwi Families and you can find all the past answers written by Susie and Paula.

If however you feel there may be a physical problem then check with your G.P. In six months time, after having tried some different strategies, and you still have a problem then contact your local Ministry of Education Office, in particular the Early Childhood Intervention Centre. This is the Department to whom referrals are made from kindergartens and Early Childhood Centres. You may self-refer and explain your problem and you will be assigned someone to put strategies in place for you.

Hope all goes well, in the meantime.

Debbie Knowles

B.A. Dip. Tch. N.Z Registered Teacher. Experienced classroom teacher. Ex Head of Learning Support Carmel College.

www.springboardnz.com

09-445-4591

Good Nutrition should be a key factor when deciding what to put in your child’s lunch box. It does not, however, have to be a source of stress for parents. It does require that we get organized and creative. To keep it simple we have created a few handy tips that hopefully will make this easier for you.

Plan lunches before your weekly grocery shop.

Make out a list of what you will prepare for lunches in the up and coming week. Organization goes a long

 way in making your life easier.

Freeze it or dump it!

I don’t know about you but I do not always make the best of my left over’s. It is understandable that your children don’t want to eat the same thing day after day. But you can cook a bit more of what you are preparing and freeze it in small containers that will fit in your kids lunch boxes. Then you can rotate what you are giving them to keep it healthy and interesting, while simplifying things for yourself.

Capitalise while preparing dinner by incorporating tomorrow’s lunch.
While in the kitchen preparing your family's dinner, use the time to get tomorrows lunch underway.

Make a double batch of meals that taste just as good "the morning after," like; pasta, fried chicken or quiche. Plenty of kids like cold chicken. You can peel carrots and cut them up and leave them in water over night to keep them fresh.

There are a number of easy meal plans that you can find for free on the internet, Watch this space and we will advise you.

Chicken Soup for the soul

There is nothing nicer then feeling a tummy with nice warm soup from a thermos on a cold day. You can make minestrone, vegetable or chicken soup. Again when you prepare soup make extra and freeze it. Then defrost the night before, heat in the morning and wa-lah!

Let the kids participate in preparing their lunches. It goes a long way when you can teach your child a life skill to be self sufficient while making your life easier and less stressful. Don’t you agree? Your children can prepare their own lunch or help you prepare by putting things in their lunch box, the evening, before that do not require refrigeration. They can also choose their own snacks. This will also teach your children about making healthy choices for themselves.

Fast Food

It can be tempting to buy your kids fast food and once in a while it is okay if it gets you out of a bind. Surely they will consider it a nice treat. For the most part it is usually fattening and unhealthy. The amount of sodium, fat and preservatives used to keep down the price and guarantee and long shelf life is not what you want your children eating when you can avoid it.