Listening is an active skill, hearing is passive, we hear many things but we do not always listen to each sound. In order to listen one has to "pay attention". This skill of paying attention is learnt in - in the uterus during pregnancy  and is the foundation for brain development.  

 If one is anxious then one is not paying attention. As adults we experience this often, and don't realise that this is also experienced by children. Often I ask parents,  " if you are stressed can you pay attention to what is going on around you?"  Their answer is usually, 'No'. In the same way, when a child is stressed, they too cannot pay attention.

 Often children are anxious but don't show signs of anxiety in the way that adults can recognise it. 

 Anxiety can also take on many masks. Children find it hard to express how they feel and so they act out their frustration or anger. Some withdraw into themselves. In testing children I can determine the level of stress that the child may be experiencing, which would go along way in explaining why they are having difficulty with paying attention. A Brain Profile would uncover much of this information.

Some children may be hyper sensitive to certain 

•  sounds 
•  tastes  
•  smells  
•  textures    
•  touch  

 All of which may be stressing the system. When this happens the child may withdraw from the outside world to get away from the stimulus. Sometimes parents and teachers are unaware of this and as a result don’t realise how stressed the child is.

In my experience, many children who are perfectionists land up being very frustrated with themselves, because they know they should be able to keep up and  they should be able to get things right. These children, depending on their profiles, will either, withdraw and stop trying or will become disruptive and difficult.

These children who are bombarded with stimuli (ASD spectrum) will be so busy keeping the world at bay and don't have enough resources to also be listening to;   

•  suggestions  
•  commands 
•  instructions etc. 

There are many things that can stress a child, we know about emotional stress and even physical trauma, but there are some more subtle ones that some of us are unaware of. For instance;

• Foods high in Colourants, preservatives, sugars,    
• Foods that children may be sensitive or intolerant to.
• Our environmental pollutants are a big problem for all of us, not least of all our children. Visit my site for more information on this www.family-focus.co.nz
• Dehydration – the brain requires water to function properly, many children do not drink enough clean water.
• poor blood sugar stabilization 

This can be so oppressive to a child's system that they are overwhelmed by it. They are not able to say to you "I don't think I feel well and what I just ate makes me feel agitated " but they start to behave differently.  

Chemical toxins play a huge role in our children battling the  'concentration bug'.  

So yes diet is very key, but the one factor that is becoming more and more evident as a serious enemy is the high levels of heavy metals found in all ;

• our foods 
• our drinking water 
• our body creams 
• deodorants 
• toothpastes 
• cooking pots
• make up and in many other places.  

‘Auditory processing difficulties’ is a label that these children could find themselves with.  

My sound advice, is to look deeper into what is causing the child’s difficulties. I use the knitting analogy,  'no one wants to wear a jersey that is full of holes', I believe it is much better to go back and unravel the jersey and start again, rather than to keep patching the holes and hope that one day it will hold together.

 Sound therapy and Brain Profiling are just some of the modalities that I use to assists children with learning, the key, I believe is a multidisciplinary approach. We are dynamic and therefore require a dynamic solution.  

For more information contact www.family-focus.co.nz 

It can be worrying if you have a little one who works well in routines and is a bit afraid of change.

`As a parent I can certainly empathise with your concern. However, most experts say that children usually toilet train themselves between the ages of two and a half and three and a half, so it sounds like you might have a bit of time up your sleeve in which to try a few new strategies.

You could begin with your local early developmental clinic (Plunket office or Barnados) or your Early Childhood teacher. They probably have some pamphlets which would be helpful. There are also lots of really great websites with free information. You could try www.3daypottytraining.com, www.lifefamilyeducation.com/toddler, www.tootntinkle.co.nz  Adventures in Toilet Training
.

Another great resource is the Forum part of kiwi Families and you can find all the past answers written by Susie and Paula.

If however you feel there may be a physical problem then check with your G.P. In six months time, after having tried some different strategies, and you still have a problem then contact your local Ministry of Education Office, in particular the Early Childhood Intervention Centre. This is the Department to whom referrals are made from kindergartens and Early Childhood Centres. You may self-refer and explain your problem and you will be assigned someone to put strategies in place for you.

Hope all goes well, in the meantime.

Debbie Knowles

B.A. Dip. Tch. N.Z Registered Teacher. Experienced classroom teacher. Ex Head of Learning Support Carmel College.

www.springboardnz.com

09-445-4591