It is very important to apply basic principle consistently so children know what the boundaries are and exactly what is expected of them.
If we want to instil high self esteem and positive communication in our children then we have to do this by role modelling. If we are constantly nagging, criticizing and talking to them about things that they are doing that we do not like rather then reinforcing what we do like about them then they will not pick up the positive messages.
It is important to know what we expect and want to encourage.
I suggest using the following a guide line;
• You must communicate clearly. If your child does not hear what you are saying (they my even be hypnotised by the T.V. or computer) then you are setting them up for failure. Messages should be short and clear. It can be belittling for a child if you bark commands at them. So please keep it short and sweet. They need the time to process what you have asked them to do and they may have questions. It is possible to be clear, short and consistent, as well as, kind.
• Pick Your Battles. If you want to win the war it is important to pick your battles so ignore little things. If you are constantly nagging at your child they will tune you out. If they are not doing something dangerous or incredibly bad ignore what they are doing. Children need to have success more then they have failures if they are to be motivated to succeed.
• Positive attention & Affection is so important. Children need to be hugged and hear praise. T is so important to recognise and point out the good thing that they do. It encourages them to continue making positive and helpful contributions. This is much more effective then screaming at them and criticizing the things that they do that are wrong.
• Not Every Child Is the Same. You must allow for differences in children’s personalities. Not all children are the same and respond to the same things. This means in other words that they are motivated by different things. Some children are easier to guide through life and the challenges that it presents but it doesn’t make them bad and they need to feel understood.
• Everyone makes mistakes. I know that I make mistakes. It is important to let your children know when you make a mistake and for them to see the process of recognition and correction in order for them to learn accountability from the example that you set.
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