All throughout human history, grandparents have raised the young while parents supplied the basic needs for survival. Families either lived together or very close to one another. Parents and grandparents served as a family "team" supporting and nurturing the young. Children supported their parents and in exchange grand parents looked after the children. Lately however, the family team has broken apart for many as a result of globalisation and the concept of what older people are ‘supposed’ to do.
Times have changed! Grand parents finish raising their children and they have a second lease on life. It is time to travel and take it easy. Family is no longer necessarily the main focus for them as they have done their bit. The simple fact is that many grandparents work full time these days. For many it involves making a life-changing decision to dedicate your life to raising a child at a time in life when you may be looking forward to more leisure and less responsibility.
Some grandparents ask. How do I cope with caring for a grandchild? How do I deal with being a grandparent, and yet sometimes having to act like a parent?
Many grandparents faced with the need to raise a grandchild experience ambivalent feelings.
You have to deal with the reality that taking on the responsibility of caring for a grandchild will turn your lives topsy-turvy. This decision is further influenced by your personality type, values, priorities, life circumstances, how much time and effort will be required to raise a grandchild.
Some grandparents perceive taking on a parental role late in life as a blessing and are grateful for the opportunity to form a deeper bond with their grandchild. Other grandparents while enjoying its pleasures, still resent the responsibility and attendant inconveniences that are involved in raising a grandchild. The health effects of raising a grandchild depend on your basic health, vitality and age.
Naturally, your lives as grandparents undergo great change when your grandchild moves in with you. Instead of spending time with your friends, you become immersed in the social life and schoolwork of your grandchild. And it can be especially difficult when you a grandchild with emotional or behavioural difficulties. You may feel tired, overworked and resent it. You may also feel that raising a grandchild has given you new meaning which compensates for the fatigue you feel.
So, if you are raising your grandchild, expect to have many different feelings depending on the day and perhaps the time of day. On the one hand you will have to sacrifice a certain amount of your freedom. On the other hand, you are saving your grandchild's life. Everything in life is a trade off.
It will be your responsibility to teach your children life skills and social values. You will have to be consistent. You need a game plan to establish ground rules to make this situation manageable for you. The I Can Do It planner is exactly the practical tool that you need to facilitate this.
