"Why is Mary nice to me when we are alone, but mean to me around the girls at school?"
"Why do people make fun of Asian people?"
"Why do people kill each other?"

Many instances arise that are opportunities for you as a parent to answer hard questions with deeper answers rather then just simplify. It is quick and easy to say "stay away from that girl she is not nice" rather then say "I wonder if something is bothering her that is causing her to act that way. "Maybe we should talk to the teacher about it. She may be going through something upsetting outside of school".

If children are going to understand and practice good social skills and make a valid contribution to relationships they are going to need your help. We are all time poor these days so sometimes it is easier to keep things short rather than getting into a big heated discussion. It is also natural to want to believe our children when they tell us their version of something that has happened. You must recognize that the way that our children interpret a situation is not always accurate. It is also natural for children to participate in the pecking order at times and our job to steer them in the right direction. It does require us to make some calls and investigate at times. We owe it to our children to teach them to be real and to look for deeper answers rather than taking everything at face value because it is easier and quicker.

Pat is the creator of the 'I Can Do It' family planner. The program/planner is a fun and interactive family & school management solution which uses tried and trusted practical strategies and tools to teach your children life-skills, as well as social values. I Can Do It! is the only practical, flexible and diverse program that infuses self esteem in your children while teaching responsibility and self-sufficiency on a daily basis to receive a FREE copy of The 9 Tough Parenting Problems & How To Solve Them report go to http://icandoitlifeskills.com/